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March, 2007
The Medicine Shield
Last October Angaangaq came to Rhinebeck to
do ceremony on Don's grave. It was a beautiful and powerful moment
that brought Don's family into the circle and began the healing
process. One of the last things that Don said to Greg was, 'Can you
imagine if we brought this to our family?" and so he did...
After everyone left, Angaangaq asked me if I
had a drum. I handed him my drum, thrilled when he spoke about
learning the language of the drum. He spoke about the drum and about
me. He said many things. He said he watched me and that I am
home wherever I am. He said that the Eskimos are like that. He then
began to speak about animal totems. He told me that most people think
that they have some big, powerful animal as their totem, but it's not
true. Most people, he said, have something very different. When I
realized that he was giving me my animal totem, my heart jumped. HE'S
GIVING ME MY TOTEM! I thought with great anticipation. What was it
going to be? A deer, a beaver, a hawk, he's talking about home, a
turtle, oh my gosh, a turtle, turtle island! He looked directly into
my eyes and said, "Your animal totem is the snail. You are home
wherever you go. I will sing you the home song. I don't often sing
it." Then he sang to me, the song of home, the song
of the snail. It was a strange and haunting song filled with a far
away longing.
I wasn't expecting snail. I wasn't
expecting the uncomfortable rise of ego, the disappointment within
which I couldn't quell, snail? My animal totem is a snail? I think I
thanked him. I hope I did.
Shortly afterwards as we drove to the
airport, Diane asked,"Angaangaq, your totem animal isn't the
same as your power animal is it?" (I know she was trying to make
me feel better.) He didn't answer, he was sleeping. It's the same I
said, it's true, I am Snail woman! I leave a trail of slime wherever
I go. I am Snail woman, you will never hear me roar. We laughed.
"But it's pretty and it has a spiral," she said.
In the days to follow, I searched my books
and the internet to find out about Snail Medicine. I found out that
they live on land and sea, are an ancient life form, highly adaptable
and androgynous. I also found many ways to kill them by poison or
recipes to eat them sautéed with garlic and olive oil, but
nothing about working with Snail Medicine. I told friends about it.
They tried not to laugh. Someone said, 'Can you give it back?"
No, I didn't want to give it back, I knew that there was something I
wasn't seeing. I knew that Snail was important but how?
So, I asked Grandmother Threecrow. She told me that I would not find
out how to work with my totem on the internet. She told me to offer
Snail tobacco and ask to begin a relationship.
One late autumn day, I went up to the garden
and prayed. I gave Snail an offering of tobacco, tick too (asking
them not to bite me) and I lay down in the center of the labyrinth,
with my head on the earth. I fell asleep and woke as rain fell in big
fat drops. The rain felt good, the earth was sweet, there was
however, no sign of Snail.
Later that night while I was meditating, I went into a deep
place and in that place I clearly heard the voice of Snail, "We
will help you communicate with the dead." As soon as those words
were spoken, it all made perfect sense. Snails digest the decaying
matter of living things. They bring the energy of all life into their
being. I work with energy and from childhood, I have been able to see
beyond the veil. Communicating with those who have passed over made
perfect sense to me, I already knew how to do that, now I had an
ally. How awesome was that? I thanked the Snail and we
began our walk together.
In early January, I was given another animal
totem, Snake. Still moving close to the ground, the snake and I have
a long history. I am waiting until the snow melts to offer Snake
tobacco. I do not yet know what Snake medicine will bring. No doubt
it will not be what I thought.
At Gray Bear, I chose the elk skin with the
snail tracks in the center. As I formed the edges of the hoop two
snakes appeared. I brought it home and placed it on the center
of the dining room table, waiting for inspiration. (I told Yolanda
that I almost left it blank because the adult Kate was so intimidated
by it. I invited the child Katie into the project and she had no
hesitation, quickly filling the blank space with color and form.)
Last Thursday night, I knew what I was going
to do. I went to the craft store and bought what I needed. I asked
Snail and Snake to guide me and I began. Around 8pm the phone rang. I
have three sons. The middle son, David was calling to tell me that my
youngest son Paul had a snowboarding accident and was in the hospital
in Colorado. He said that he broke his back. (Last December Paul, in
another snowboarding accident had a compression fracture of T1&T5.)
Now, I knew that Paul did not have his
phone because he left it in New Mexico while I was at Gray Bear. The
number that David gave me just rang and rang and rang. I was alone,
at the kitchen table in NY. Paul was somewhere in Colorado and I
didn't know the name of the hospital. I picked up the medicine
shield. I held it in my hands as my mind raced what could I do? I
looked at the shield, at Snail and Snake and I asked for their help.
I closed my eyes and went deep inside. I looked for my son Paul and I
found him, in the hospital room and saw that he was conscious and
alert. I saw that he wasn't paralyzed. Then I heard in my head, 'call
the number on your phone.' I have caller ID. The night before Paul
had called me on a friend's phone. The number was on my machine. I
called it. His friend answered and was able to give me the number of
another friend who was with Paul in the hospital. I reached Paul.
I finished the medicine shield on Friday and
it hangs in my office among my sacred items, a visible reminder that
as I surrender to the mystery, I am never alone. Snail and Snake are
the newest members of an ever widening circle, teachers of the
Medicine Wheel, wisdom keepers all.
Paul is going to be ok. He has a mild
compression fracture of L1, a torn knee ligament and sprained wrist.
He went off a 60' jump. Triz told me that he wants to fly, like me,
she said. He's learning about the landing gear and that is his
journey. I have to let him go, and that is part of mine.
Many thanks to Yolanda Martinez for her wonderful workshop, creating
the Medicine Shield and all you Wisdom Keepers, Diane, Triz and
Angaangaq for welcoming me into the circle.
Kate DeChard
February 28, 2007 |
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